14 Oct 2023
The Schoolkid /
Teenager Has Landed!
After ‘The weekend has landed’
from the movie, Human Traffic
The Schoolkid has Landed!
All that exists now is packed lunches, packed schedules
and loaded questions
I’ve got to navigate playground politics again, man
(and I don’t mean the kids!)
We’re gonna scoot to school, chatting away, you’re so cool
We’re gonna share books, secret looks and family quirks, the works
We’re gonna hang out, fall out, grow up and mess up
but we won’t give up
The space between us is multiplying, man!
Today I’m Super Mum
We’re on time, get in line, those shoes will do fine
I forgot to bake for the school cake sale, another parenting fail
I’m going to need more apps than I can handle
More notifications than my brain can process
and I still don’t know how to pay for school lunches
But anything could happen today, you know?
You could swim a length, finish a novel, finally master a cartwheel
I want to give you the world, watch you unfurl
You’re amazing, trail-blazing, hell-raising
I’ve got three more years before you catch the bus, refuse a kiss,
take the piss
The teenager is brewing, YEAH!
The Teenager has Landed!
All that exists now is closed doors, messy floors, spots and strops
You’ve got so much still to learn, man!
I’m gonna watch from afar, dread the day you get a car
I’m gonna take a step back, attempt to keep track
I’m gonna lie awake at night, try to keep it light, avoid a fight
The possibilities are multiplying, man!
Today I’m Super Mum
We’re having a laugh, messing about, haven’t made you shout
We’re still close, shopping for clothes, seeing how it goes
through the highs and the lows
I love watching you grow, finding your way, day by day
A mess of contradictions, ignoring my restrictions, full of conviction
I’m jealous of your freedom, your late morning lie-ins, all that potential
Anything could happen tomorrow, you know?
You could switch off the lights, rinse your cup, elaborate on ‘Yup’
You might have discovered girls, smoked a doob and eaten all the food
but you’re still my baby, YEAH!
Behind the poem...
My two-poem sequence is inspired by the character of Jip in the cult classic 90s drug culture movie, Human Traffic. It’s a parody that reimagines the now-famous ‘The weekend has landed’ monologue – delivered with such wild energy by actor John Simm. What these poems try to do is capture some of the mundanity, and the magic, of raising children; to raise a smile by juxtaposing parenthood and partying.